Death

Yesterday I got a call that my sister passed away on Sunday in Ghana. As it's said in my language, "she has crossed the river". This is my second sister to die in the past three years. Actually, all my relatives seem to be going. January 2004, My sister Veronica passed away. May 2005, my aunt Victoria who raised me from age 5 passed away. May 2006, my cousin Joe who was like a brother to me passed away. June 2007, my sister Sita passed away. In the old days, they would think someone had it in for the family and was doing away with them one by one. How things have changed.

Dealing with the pain of my loss, am reflecting over how things would be right now. My mom would be beside herself with grief. I haven't had the courage to call her yet. She bore three daughters and two are gone. Fortunately, the last daughter is with me here and she has become the liaison between me and the family. Before she joined me here almost four years ago, I was the cash king of the family shouldering every burden the family faced. Now she helps with the burden. She thinks she may be the next in three years time. We sent them $250.00 this morning to travel to where my late sister lived with her husband to see to the preparations for the funeral.

A long time ago, without refrigeration, dead bodies were quickly embalmed after they were sure the person was dead. In my traditional society, we normally do not weep for the dead until after the third day. It is believed that sometimes the person's spirit is just wondering around and will come back to inhabit the body. If you weep prematurely, it inhibits the spirit from returning.

Usually, family, friends and neighbors would come to the family house to greet and commiserate with the bereaved family. These were the days when we lived in small communities. We still do, but most people have moved to the cities so it becomes difficult for some practices to be continued. Even strangers or visitors in the town or village will come and greet the family. Superstitious beliefs make people wary that f they did not come to greet, they would be considered to have put an evil eye on the dead. People will bring food and drinks for the visitors. The bereaved normally are expected to fast, so they do not eat any heavy food.

Either the parent, wife or husband, depending on the person dead, would sit in the centre of a horse shoe formation. Other family members would take the left and right spaces. People come in and greet from the right to the left. It is improper to greet from left to right. They would sit down, be given water to drink and asked what brings them to the house, even though it's obvious. They tell of what they heard and had come to inquire as to the veracity. A family spokesperson narrates the events that had taken place also. After that, family members, except the bereaved get up and greet the visitors from right to left, adding the phrase. "you are welcome".